One of the most life giving things I’ve ever done for myself has been investing in my own personal growth by means of mentorship and coaching. Enter Helen Henley, a mindset coach that works with 7 and 8 figure entrepreneurs and whose magic has changed my life and business here at KW Content. I recently had a conversation with Helen inside the Strong Brand Social Facebook group about how entrepreneurs, business people and scrappy high achievers can learn to beat imposter syndrome (what follows is a recap, you can see the full video at the end of this article). Cheers, friends and THANK YOU, HELEN!
Why Imposter Syndrome is So Damn Tricky
Having imposter syndrome is not the thing that stops you from succeeding: it’s not knowing how to deal with it. Imposter syndrome is a voice that tells you to stay where you’re safe. Even if that place is crappy, it would rather you stay there than go somewhere where it doesn’t know what’s happening.
The thing I’ve come to know about this voice is that it’s tricky. It’s sneaky. And it’s RUDE. It’ll say things like:
- You’re not good enough.
- People will laugh at you.
- I’m trying to keep you safe.
- Why did you think you could do that?
- Oh, yeah, you really need this other degree.
- If you go out there, you’re going to make a fool of yourself.
- Get back in your box. Let me shut the lid. It’s safe and warm in here.
It’s never going to talk to you like your best friend. It’s always going to be harsh, critical. If you hear that voice, start to notice: It’s just trying to stop you moving forward by convincing you that you’re not enough.
That’s why the imposter voice is so tricky. It pretends to be reasonable and thoughtful when really it’s nothing but a gaslighting pseudo-empath.
What To Do When You Recognize Imposter Syndrome
The thing to know is that, as a human, you are going to deal with imposter syndrome. Forever. What you choose to do with that information is up to you.
You need to separate from it. Recognize it, name it. You can make it comical so that it starts to lose its power on you. Just like, ‘Hey, you again. Just go over there in the corner.’
What ludicrous persona could you give the imposter voice in your head so that when you recognize it, you can immediately separate yourself from the ugliness of the thoughts, thus limiting their power?
You can’t completely abolish negative thoughts and doubts from your life, but you CAN commit to not staying stuck in them once you become aware of them.
What if your BIG NEW THING doesn’t work like you thought it would?
You’re in a small percentage of people who have actually put something out there and actually had the courage to do it. Now, get back in the game and find out what didn’t work and what you need to change.
The important thing to realize, as quick as you can after the initial sting of failure, is that hidden inside each failure is an opportunity to learn. You cooooould scrub every shred of a flopped project from your brain, sure, or you could look at that failure as an “investment in learning” and find some tiny thing to tweak in the future that could produce 10x what you thought was even possible. Never waste a good crisis, right?
Look at your mistakes as learning experiences and say, “Okay, that was awful. Brilliant. What can I learn from this? What can I learn from this that is going to make me more amazing in the future?”
When you actually did a great freaking job
You can have 10 people tell you how wonderful you are, but get one negative bit of feedback that you ruminate on for days and days. It’s really good to keep a record of your positive feedback, a gratitude journal or a list of your achievements so that when you get that one negative bit of feedback, you can reframe and switch quickly
The “quick reframe” is by far the biggest superpower that comes from devoting time and energy to getting this work right. And one last word, if you’re new to mindset work: it might feel like you’re wasting time. This is a big thing that a lot of entrepreneurs have to overcome. It might feel like you’re wasting time, but there is immeasurable ROI from taking time to create spaces to deal with issues and to find the empowering nature inside every circumstance. This is how you learn to stare the darkness in the face and say, “You have no power here. I am enough. You can be on your merry fucking way, thank you very much.” I’m here to tell you, you’re doing a great job. Have grace for yourself.
If you want more, check out the full chat in the video below! If you’re already a Strong Brand Social community member, stay tuned for more live calls with experts in the Facebook group!
“I’m here by luck. I’m a fraud. I’m going to be found out.”